So...About Last Night....(D9 MA)

[Jyrvess Ertil]

Jyrvess nodded, "If not then there are always others I can help and when your people are ready there will be others to stand ready to aid you in the common goal."

She let out another half cry-half laugh, "Now I really am sounding like some high minded Core World Senator. I used to chuckle when I heard such talk during the war."

[Raven Cadera]

That made her chuckle. "I never really heard speeches from senators, but... I remember some of Duchess Satine's that I saw on holo when I was younger. But, she made... different kinds of speeches." Not that Raven remembered much of them. But she remembered thinking that she seemed like a nice woman.

Older Raven looking back thought Satine looked very sorrowful... and also understood a bit more why.

[Jyrvess Ertil]

"I guess...if I want to convince others I will have to work on that speech part," She wiped her eyes again, "I should probably wait until I don't look like this though. Some fierce warrior and inspiring firebrand we make right now." A ghost of a smile returned and she looked back down at the datapad and the still image. "I'm sorry Dad, for what I did to you. But I'll undue the damage and see you and all the others the Empire has killed remembered for who they really were and for their bravery under a galaxy free of the Emperor's tyranny." Jyrvess pressed a button and closed the image. "I swear it."

[Raven Cadera]

Listening to Jyvress speak to the spirit of her father, Raven nodded approvingly.

"You have a warrior's spirit even if you don't know it yet, Jyvress," she remarked thoughtfully.

[Jyrvess Ertil]

Jyrvess laughed at the comment, wiping away some more tears, "I don't know about that...but if its true then I have had some good examples to learn from." She smiles, "Both dead," her hand comes up to squeeze Raven's shoulder, "And living."

[Raven Cadera]

Raven smiled and returned the gesture. "Ni su'cuyi, gar kyr'adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum. In Mando'a, it means: I'm still alive, but you are dead. I remember you, so you are eternal. We speak these words to remember the loved ones we have lost, to keep their names alive, and to remind ourselves that they are with us still because we remember them. Your father is with you still."

[Jyrvess Ertil]

Jyrvess tries the unfamiliar tongue, "Ni su'cuyi, gar kyr'adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum." Her pronunciation is correct in the broader sense but is both slow...as she worked to recreate the sounds...and lacking certain vocal nuances that would be present in a true speaker. "The Jedi also once said that all things return to the Force. I had wondered if the same was true of my father and if he could somehow see me. It terrified me, still does...but less so. I could only imagine disappoint and anger when he looked at me from beyond."

"But I have burdened you with a lot of my pain...and now I offer you the same if you wish." She smiled gently, "Did killing this traitor last night ease some of your pain...or reopen the wound?"

[Raven Cadera]

The smile faded and her expression seemed troubled. "I... don't feel like it eased any of it. It left me very conflicted, to be honest. What..." she paused, taking a moment to put her thoughts into words that would be coherent enough.

"He was bargaining for his life, offering me great resources for not only myself but for Mandalore's followers. Even trying to adhere to our code of honor, I couldn't see the right choice to take..." she sighed. "I felt like I was doing better these past weeks. With finding some sense of peace. As strange as that may sound to hear from a Mandalorian. Maybe not healing, but I was feeling... better?"

Raven shook her head and looked off to the side. "Last night... it feels like I'm almost back to being that scared little girl because of it. It hurts. I feel... lost."

[Jyrvess Ertil]

"The coldly logical thing would have been to take the bargain," Jyrvess squeezes Raven's shoulder reassuringly, "But we aren't droids who make decisions based on cold logic. Our emotions are messy and at times hard to control." She was back to smiling, though this one was just one of comfort and reassurance. "If you are worried about your choice...it was made and you can't go back on it now, only learn from it. I won't offer you advice on which you should have chosen but perhaps you should reflect on it as the emotions cool with time. Next time you face something similar you will have experience to draw on."

"And the past has a bad habit of disrupting the present..." She felt the irony there...given the beginning of this conversation, "especially when it seems long gone."

Jyrvess let her hand slide down to take Ravens, gripping it tightly, "Remember, you are surrounded by your brothers and sisters now. They seem ready to stand with you and are expectant of the same. That's greater strength then you had alone. And not just the Mandolarians. You have friends like me, Mr Tranq..." A small chuckle escapes her lips, "Manny...though he might be more an annoying younger brother....and others. Whatever else you might feel, you aren't lost. Or at least you aren't so lost you can't find a way back now."

[Raven Cadera]

It was hard to explain all the reasons why she felt lost. A big one being that the one who had helped her so much these past weeks on Kamda had been so supportive for her, once that pillar had been removed, she felt herself trying to hold up an entire roof on her own. Metaphorically speaking.

Mand'alor was right. To a degree...

She sniffled and rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand before she got the chance to even cry. "Thank you. You're right." Then some things fell a bit more into place in her mind. "I took his datapad, and... well anything that could possibly have any information about this safehouse he spoke of. Perhaps I can find a way to make up for the more impulsive decision I took."

[Jyrvess Ertil]

"A pity you don't know anyone who does data analysis." Jyrvess squeezed Raven's hand again, "I'll take a look at if you want some time. Though it is still a slim lead. But sometimes these things start with the tiniest clues leading to others."

[Raven Cadera]

"Yeah." She squeezed the hand back in return, grateful that Jyrvess was offering her help. "It would mean a lot to me. And as you say, it might be a slim lead, but I feel obliged to pursue it."

"But first, we gotta deal with that thing floating in the sky and the fight ahead of us. Do you feel ready?" Raven felt more at ease talking about fights to come.

[Jyrvess Ertil]

"They found me an Imperial Officer's uniform," Jyrvess's grip tightened, in anger this time, "I hate it, I hate it so much. It makes my skin crawl. But it is the best chance we have to do our own mission."

[Raven Cadera]

"Then look forward to burning that uniform, after you've brought down that Destroyer. Your insight will be vital to an infiltration mission up there."

She grinned confidently. "I'll be doing my part down here. Taking down as many of them as possible."

[Jyrvess Ertil]

"Few things bring clarity for your people then the sting of battle?" Jyrvess returned the grin, "I pity the Imperials sent to against you."

"No...I will save it, I will likely have need of it again." She grimaced, "Just...will need a long shower after this mission."

[Raven Cadera]

Raven crossed her arms over her chest as she looked thoughtful, wondering how to explain it. "It does bring a clarity. In battle, all other worries fall away, and there is a hyper-focus on one thing only; to win, to survive. In a fight, I don't have to think about... these complicated feelings, and emotions."

[Jyrvess Ertil]

"Sometimes it is best to engage in such...I know it has often helped me, to put my mind to use on something else." She gripped her hands together in front of her, "Time away from the problem can let you see it with a new fresh perspective." Jyrvess's smile returned to a more gentle set. "When we all get back maybe a chance to celebrate victory and mourn the lost. Maybe among friends you will have some new insight to help. Maybe both of us will."

[Raven Cadera]

"Perhaps." She kind of hoped for a chance for some insight after this was over, though she suspected a relocation would be in the cards soon for the group.

"... Do you think the Empire's going to crack down harder on this world, after today?"

[Jyrvess Ertil]

"Yes." Jyrvess frowned and looked down, "But there is nothing that can be done about that...the Empire rules through fear, reprisal was always going to be their response."

"The cruel truth is the reprisal will inspire others to strike back harder when they see the Empire believes only in collective punishment and power." Her frown deepened with that, "There is danger in thinking this way but sometimes its a necessity."

[Raven Cadera]

"I see... but at some point, even they won't bother spending too much on an Outer Rim world, right?" she wasn't quite sure though. Going up against something as big as the Empire was outside of her knowledge of war and warfare.